Breaking Through

Posted by on July 19, 2013 in Musings, Skills Building | 3 comments

Breaking Through

If you’re going through hell, keep going. – Winston Churchill

The past year has been extremely painful. The most painful of my life. I lost a friend, who is family to me, and experienced a grief like I have never known.

As a counselor who has walked through grief of various sorts with innumerable  clients, I know that’s exactly what it takes – walking through it.

I also know it comes in waves. And I spent the last year in the undertow.

A few weeks ago, over lunch with a dear friend, she said “I have a sense you are on the verge of a breakthrough.” The word break echoed in my mind. I responded, “Indeed, I am broken.”

It’s not my nature to be sad. I’m one of those people who could  always imagine the silver lining, without being Pollyanna. The past year has been uncharted territory for me. I’ve been unable to see another side – an end to the suffering.

Yet over the past two weeks, since that lunch with my friend, I’ve begun to realize I am breaking through.  Like a seedling, breaking through the earth, I can see a glimmer of light. I can feel its warmth embrace me, as if welcoming me home.

The love, the loss, the grief, they will always remain. Nevertheless, I am breaking through. I can see a silver lining – that I can be released from the undertow, the grief can occupy a different place in my life, and that this experience can benefit my work with clients for years to come. I can break through. I will break through. I am breaking through.

If you are going through your own version of hell, remember to keep going! You will break through, too.


  1. I can relate on various levels. I’ve always believed that deep loss is not something we ever realy “get Over” as our culture wants us to. But we do “breakthrough” as you’ve so astutely written about. We do “transcend” the pain and move on. Thanks for writing abut these season of grief in your life.

  2. I have been a fellow traveler on this road most recent with the loss of my sister this past year. However, it is the love of Christ that brings us through the deep valley of grief the shadow of death into His wonderful light. Love you Melissa God is a very present help in times of trouble. Grief brings us close to Him where He wants us to reside. He is the best comforter I know. So thankful He brought me through the dark night of the soul when I was in my twenty one. He has sustained me and brought me to this place where I can help others along the journey. We are sojourners in a strange land. mwp

  3. My depression coach told me in the midst of my darkness that when I arrived on the other side that I would be more beautifully radiant than ever before…he was right. Suffering does that to one, either marks us sadly or as conquerers. I also know by experience that when one walks through the fire, one emerges as refined silver. I have an intimacy and identity with God that could not have come from any other place than the darkest hour. And btw I embrace walking in the light, funny how the Bible reveals the truth of that! I know that life is hard but God is very very good. 🙂

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